![]() ![]() Anyway, Spider-Man used to own it when he was going through his black metal phase, but when he started listening to Europop it hopped off onto some other guy. The Marvel universe oozes from every pore of Web of Shadows, like nerdy, contrived toothpaste, and it would be hard to explain the plot to someone who doesn't know the first thing about what I would laughingly call "the history." There's this black alien goo that turns people evil, unless it's the one from the Spider-Man 3 movie, in which case it just turns them into Jarvis Cocker. So ever since then, I've tried to keep an eye on Spider-Man as a gaming franchise. But I liked it so much that I used to speed through the story as fast as possible just to open up the world and spend hours swinging around buildings, doing races, collecting exploration tokens, and purposefully ignoring the people's cries for help. In fact, come to think of it, the web-slinging was the only part I liked. ![]() But that didn't matter because the missions. But web-slinging around the open world was amazingly fun, fast, flowing, ffffintuitive, and the combat was. And Tobey Maguire's voice acting sounded like he was reading aloud a school report on his on frontal lobotomy. It had the usual movie tie-in problems - being shackled to the original plot, mainly. Speaking of numbers on the end, I picked up Web of Shadows because 2004's Spider-Man 2: The Movie: The Game exceeded all expectations by being slightly good. It's a Spider-Man game, which admittedly there have been around thirty of, but I'm validated as long as there's no number on the end, although I may feel the need to cut myself and weep. I'm going to review a game from last year that I actually want to talk about. ![]() I am the free-spirited, chaotic neutral rebel of video game journalism. My new release options at present are limited to another thrilling opportunity to mash my controller to death or Gears of War versus the British space Nazis. It's like reading the results table posted outside a special school. Christ, it's a miserable time to be a game critic! The release schedule is nothing but old titles with incrementally larger numbers on the end. ![]()
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